thus making me awesome and them whores
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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