i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
