This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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