So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize