Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
