In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
