You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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