Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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