She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
