For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
love makes seman taste better
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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