I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
