i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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