u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
