Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
oh god the rape fog is back!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
