I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
This baby is an asshole
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
