is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Someone came in the potted fern
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
