I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
my being single is dangerous.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
