I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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