doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
