No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
