but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We left the knife in your bed.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
