It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize