I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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