I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
