i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
