I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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