If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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