everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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