She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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