First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
