boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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