She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
