it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
