i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
