i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Bring me that man meat
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
