If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
