I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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