Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
