Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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