Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
