he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
