K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
