do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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