Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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