you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I woke up under a house in Key West
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