He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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