I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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