im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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