It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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