Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
