the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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