I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize
