she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize