At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
