And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
