But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
