I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He did a backflip because drugs
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
