you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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