just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
