I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I just googled if crying burns calories
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
