Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
