No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
