I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
