can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
