How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
