How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
