He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Randomize
