Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
