The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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